My heart is weak
It fails me again
No strength inside
To pull from within
Darkness tries to overcome
I try desperately not to succumb
I want so much to be strong and brave
But hiding and comfort is what I crave
The battle is fierce and lonely and some days too hard to bear
But I can rest in the assurance that God you are always there
This battle within heavily demands my attention
And is more in this moment than what I can mention
I have this faith and Your truth to believe
So there are things in me that need to be upheaved
No longer allowed to take up precious and limited space
But these things in my life need to be displaced
No room for the past and the lies I have believed
Only your faithfulness and love that I have received
What is it within me that I cannot see?
That has this strong, unrelenting grip on me.
I beg, I plead for answers that will show
Oh Lord please tell me which way I should go
Your word says I have all that I need
So why can’t today your words I heed?
I’m desperate for a hope that has quietly faded
Not lost or forgotten, just heavily jaded
I choose in this moment to trust once more
That when it is time you will open the new door
For me to see your plans fuller and true
An unfolding story that will come into view
You God are my only hope for a life lived with purpose
Help me dive deeper than the things on the surface
To live in the fullness of your mercy and grace
Instead of the pain of this unsteady race
Fill me today so that I can in strength keep moving
And live another day trusting in your approving
For you are the only audience for me
And fully in your presence I long to be
Fill me today with your magnificent hearts desire
And fill my dark places with a renewed holy fire
4 Replies to “A RECURRING BATTLE”
So beautiful and so very real for all of us. Joy, don’t ever let Satan convince you that you are alone in your struggles. There is NO ONE who isn’t in a constant battle over their relationship with God…and often that battle rages in our very own minds. The exhaustion of feeling like you have to constantly fight “yourself” can be overwhelming, but YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Love you so much!
Thank you love. I so needed to hear these words. Even though I know in my mind the truth it is hard to live it some days. LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!
Joy, I love this poem. And I can relate. I’m amazed at your writing, but not surprised! 😘
Sent from my iPhone
Thank you Linda. Miss you.